Chained To The Game of Comparison

17:11


For the past few weeks I've struggled with trying to come up with what to blog about.  If I'm being real with you guys, in my mind if it wasn't incredible HD photos of a bomb outfit or some sort of healthy gluten-free easy-to-make etc. etc. recipe (also dictated along with incredible HD photos) I felt like it wasn't going to be good enough.
A few days ago, I found myself doing the exact same thing with my Instagram.  My thumb aimlessly scrolling as I floated through images of perfect bodies, perfect lifestyles, perfect trips, perfect clothes and suddenly the image I wanted to post of my dog just seemed pale in comparison.
How messed up is that? A happy little picture of one of the greatest joys of my life suddenly didn't seem like a good enough image to make it on the gram.
Realistically, I knew this wasn't true.  This feeling didn't align with who I really was a person, but yet I found myself comparing.  My body didn't look like hers, I was sitting on my couch answering my 500th email of the day having not showered or changed out my leggings yet while this other girl was frolicking the beach and sipping Pina coladas with all of her friends.
This started to become a silent theme of subconsciousness that I dragged around with me everywhere unknowingly.  I didn't want to film because it wouldn't be good enough, I didn't want to write a blog post because it wouldn't be glamorous enough, I didn't want to post to Instagram because my photos weren't good enough.  Without even realizing it, I had gone from having one of the best weeks of my life to feeling like an utter failure in a matter of just a few days with no actual outside changes in the world.  This was all a made up construction I had built in my mind by letting even the tiniest bit of comparison slip through the cracks.
That is why I'm posting today.   It's Wednesday, it's 4:46pm and I'm currently sitting on my couch in sweats and my dogs fur all over me.  I'm bloated AF from the spring rolls I had for lunch and my makeup is half rubbed off and doesn't match the rest of my body because I have put self-tanning on the back burner.  If you were to scroll through my Instagram you would have no idea I spent this morning having a total meltdown from stress,  slept in my sweat and rain from walking home from hot yoga last night or spent the last 24hours having only physically spoken to the cashier at the grocery store.
Now I'm not here to bash social media, but I am here to debunk it.  All of these amazing bikini photos, perfected selfies and touché captions are the highlights of what we want to show and there is nothing wrong with that.  What we have to remember is that we have control over what we decide to compare ourselves too.  We have the ability to buy into and compare ourselves to the images we see on a daily basis or to continue to live as our true selves and be grateful for what we have to offer the world.  If we can find a way to appreciate the lives and energy of other people and become crystal clear with our own then we're no longer chained to this game of comparing and are free to spread our own light and experiences with the world.  Anything that makes you happy, anything that adds to your life is perfect.  We do not need to perfect or curate an image in order to prove to the world that we have our shit together or are happy.  That story should tell itself through the energy we share and the way we share it.
So, here I am, still on my couch now at 5:01pm, completely unfiltered and unperfected sharing just a few thoughts that have really weighed me down the past few days in order to shed some light on the normality of feeling this way and how perfectly okay it is for your life not to be perfect.

So love the crap out of your dog, wear the clothes that you feel good and comfortable in, be around the people that make you happy and savour the few moments we actually get in this life and if you happen to get a photo out of it, great, post it.
Then get back to really living, because that's what's important.

That's it for today.  Hope this helped lighten up the pressure for some of you out there as it did for me.
Take care of yourselves! 
K

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41 comments

  1. I really needed to read this today. Thank you so much for always inspiring me

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  2. This post is absolutely wonderful! These past few weeks I've gone through the whole comparing myself to others, with myself, my art, and my life. I'm currently studying Design, and being surrounded by the amazing talent and hard work of my classmates, it becomes easy to compare myself to them. I've been slowly working towards being inspired by them rather than comparing myself, but the insecurities always slip in. So thank you for posting this! The part I love most about your blog and videos is how you get real with people. You're not some unattainable star that we can only look up to. You're a girl going through life, just like the rest of us. And if that's not inspiring af then I don't know what is!

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  3. This help so much! I have been feeling super excited now that summer is here, but lately I have been feeling horrible about myself because I COMPARE! But now I know I can't compare myself because no one is perfect. Thanks for this blog. LLYSM :)

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  4. I have been learning this myself. I am not skinny like others I have curves, I don't have perfect skin or a perfect life. In the constant bombardment of social media in our lives can take a toll on you. I believe to change my mind set to not care what others do because in all honesty we only have this one life and we should enjoy it. I get looked at weird because I am a pentecost but you know what if your happy with your life don't let others intrude on your happiness. I love your youtube channel and I think you are very inspiring, I love your dog he is adorable and you are beautiful. Don't ever let others make you compare because all of us is a diamond in our own way. I hope you have a great week. Can't wait to see your next video. :-)

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  5. I am experiencing something similiar. I had to take sick days from my work because my back hurt so much and now I am home for almost a month. I know how you feel. I can't figure out what I'm gonna do with my career now. I can not have a job in office because my back hurt while sitting. I am trying to figure out what to do next and while trying this I am sitting home alone with my dog, having only 4 hours a day which I can spent outside the flat. Now I am kind of jealous that our country is so small and already full of Youtubers that there is no space for anyone else.
    Just be yourself and everything will get better! Hope you enjoyed the wedding, the make up was stunning! Love, Zuzka :)

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    1. nooo, don't think that youtube is full! youtube is getting bigger from day to day, there is space for everyone :D if you want to do youtube and you think you have something to offer in that field, just do it! there are plenty of new youtubers and that is great. whole universe is abundant and there is everything for everyone :D

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    2. Listen to Ivana ;) What YouTube doesn't have yet is YOU. No one can do you except you. That's why there's always space for you to expand, to grow, and to express your creativity. There always will be.
      I've spent the last two years unable to work because of injuries, and the last 6 years battling symptoms from them. It's a brutal thing, but you know what? It forces you to take a step back. The step back that gives you a new perspective, an opportunity to refocus your life, and a chance to go after something that's more genuinely yours. I know it's hard, but try to be positive about the change that's happened... because you can change a whole lot for the better if you take action. Instead of focusing on what you lost, focus on where you want to go. Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world. Most importantly, listen to what your body needs. Heal it. It's the only thing you have. When things get frustrating, feel frustrated, but also be grateful for the tiniest things. This will help you stay positive too. For now, look at the blank canvas in front of you, and just ask yourself what you truly want out of life. This is your opportunity to paint it. Xo ��

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  6. I absolutely loved this, I feel like I needed this. I've had one of the worst weeks in so long and it isn't even social media. It's my work and personal life bringing me down and making me feel hopeless. I love your posts and videos because they are so down to earth and help keep me positive even when I don't want to be. I subscribe to a few youtubers but you are hands down one of my favorites because of how positive you are and relatable and watching your videos always put a smile on my face. And your blogs seem to come along when I really need it the most so thank you so much for being who you are. It may sound silly but it's true. You're a really great person and I can't wait for your next post. Keep on smiling :) you're a great person inside and out.

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  7. what can I do, if I can't find any people that will make me happy... it's hard for me even to find friends( It's terrible feeling

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  8. So so true 😭😭😭 thanks for posting, Kalyn ❤️

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  9. Love this girl! Thank you for keeping it real! <3 you're my fav!

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  10. I am always, always comparing. It's a terrible thing and I try to ignore it as much as possible, but some days I let it get to me. Thank you so much for sharing your side of this <3 You are always so real with your followers and I love that about you! Keep doin you, boo. xxx

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  11. I really needed to hear this today, thank you so much Kalyn.
    You're one of my biggest inspirations out there. There's no one who gives me so much energy and gets me so inspired to work towards my goals as you do. You always give so much, and even though I know you're worried about letting us down, you never do. Writing something like this is hard, and you're so brave for putting this text out there. Take as long as you need. Take care of yourself. I'm so proud of you.

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  13. "The reason why we struggle with insecurity,is because we compare our 'behind the scenes' with someone else's 'highlight reel'". -Steven Furtick ❤

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  14. I can't explain how much this helped me. I also catch myself comparing to others at times, but that was a wake up call for me today, to focus on the light again. Thank you Kalyn, love you 💞

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  15. I really needed this. I'm going through a lot at the moment and this is something I do constantly. I always compare myself to people or things that are "Better". I watch your videos and read your blogs all the time and you are a great inspiration and a great role model to me and i'm sure many many other people around the world. You tell it like it is and its refreshing. Thank you for doing what you are doing.
    Georgie x

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  16. This is unrelated to the comparison thing, but I just want you to know that my favourite posts are your journals. I love your writing! (Can't wait for dreamcatcher btw.) Frankly I don't really care about HD photos. I'm here because I like you, your personality, and your thoughts. Do your own thing, post what you like to post, not what you think bloggers should post.

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  17. This came to me in just the right moment, I have realised that you always write or talk about the things that I am currently going through at that time, and this is the thing I have started to struggle with in the last couple of weeks. Thank you Kalyn for everything that you have provided me with, as I have been a committed viewer of you for years now. I hope we all find peace within ourselves and remember to take everything slow as life is a "life-long" journey. You have all of your life to take care of yourself and become a better version of yourself than you were the day before.

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  18. It's crazy because i do have these thoughts.. usually with your photos on insta and your blogs on youtube. Yet you feel the exact same way.. It's almost like proof of how we over think these kinds of things. Love ya Kal.

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  19. Loved this so much! I think I really needed to read this.

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  20. I was reading your blog post and I can relate to it all. I've felt like that I'm just glad that I'm not the only person who feels this way. I love you and this just made my day thank you Kalyn.

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  21. I can absolutely relate with this whole post! I love to know that you have days like this too, super inspirational that you can still get all of the work and fun done that you do, whilst having days like this. Life is definitely a balance between hard work and relaxing, but you are absolutely amazing at balancing it all! Keep doing you girl, we love you just the way you are <3

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  22. Wow, I'm really late to read and comment on this, but it still felt so good to hear an honest person! And I think that you don't have to be perfect to be wonderful!:) ( kind of switched that one quote up that goes LIFE doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful) I love your blogs and videos!

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  23. Wow, I'm really late to read and comment on this, but it still felt so good to hear an honest person! And I think that you don't have to be perfect to be wonderful!:) ( kind of switched that one quote up that goes LIFE doesn't have to be perfect to be wonderful) I love your blogs and videos!

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  24. I have been feeling the same way on and off for months now. Thank you for writing this <3

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  25. This was SO nailed girl you are awesome and thanks for keeping it real!♡♡♡

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  26. This was SO nailed girl you are awesome and thanks for keeping it real!♡♡♡

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  27. Such a great post!! I needed that right about now, when I think I lost my way, I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going but all I know Is that I'm happy with how it is, even when I'm broke and still looking for a job! Loving life one day at a time!

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  28. Hi Kalyn,
    This post just come on the right time for me. Lately, I have been thinking so much about your advices and your story. I feel so awful theses days and whenever I feel down, I watch some of your coffee talk videos. It helps a lot, I hope you know how much of a difference you do in lives of many girls here! Love ya! xoxo

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  29. Hi cutie!!! I've been following you on Youtube for a really long time and never red your blog until today. I love how inspiring you are and every time I'm feeling down I just have to watch one of your videos or read your posts and I feel so much better about myself. This post helped me so much in this Monday morning, it was just what I needed to read😊 Thank you and hope you have an amazing week!!!❤️

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  30. This is happening to me all the time! I also struggle with anxiety and this kind of thoughts can make you really fell like your never going to get to "this or that" level. Thank you so much Kalyn for putting this out to the world and I'm so glad I got to read it! You're one of my fav youtubers/bloggers because you are "real" and true to yourself and I'm going to try my best to be my best self also <3 Love you girl!!

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  31. Glad I came over this. I really need this post. Thank you so much Kalyn for inspiring me since 2015.

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